Fucken astounding

So, here is the text of an email a friend just sent me:

Subject: Surfing Magazine - All class

Latest issue has an article titled 'Waves are Women' with the subtitle 'Please no red tides'.

Fucken astounding...

Yes. Yes it fucken is. I'm not sure what the rest of the article says, but the delightful word-smithery of 'Please no red tides' (see what they did there!! Coz, like, chicks get periods. LOLZ!) is so offensive and sexist that I can't actually cope. Please no red tides? Are you serious Surfing Magazine? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Did you realise that it is 2012? Have you come across many women who laugh at your crap jokes about periods in the past? Did you think for more than a millisecond about publishing that line? Maybe this is usual fare from this publication? Maybe it's an anomaly? But I can only imagine that the rest of the article is as shitty as this subheading and heads in one of a limited number of projected directions: 1) waves are fickle, uncontrollable mistresses that cannot be tamed, 2) waves come from mother-nature and are a precious gift that must be adored and treasured as mystic and spiritual and their maternal-ness should make us all want to be better people, or 3) a combination of the two.* Obviously, I could be wrong, and maybe Surfing Magazine is going to laugh in my face when I read their article to find it is otherwise free of any sexist stereotypes, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

The most irritating thing is that to read the article, I'm going to have to give them some of my money. Ugh. Until then, if you have read this piece of bullshit article, please do let me know if I've got this totally wrong. Or not.

*I'm going to assume that there is no allusion to surfing waves as some kind of metaphorical sexual conquest or rape. Surely. I mean, that kind of comment would even be beyond the editorial justification of even a moron like Derek Reilly, who sets a low comparative bar.


  1. that is so ridiculous. they do have a lot of stupid/offensive print on a regular basis though. if you can wait (because we all just rush to the newsstand for it, i'm sure), when my bf's copy comes in the mail i'll scan it for you. till then, checkout fodder :)

  2. Hey germaine. That would be amazing if you could! Thanks so much. I'm not really familiar with Surfing mag. I've never bought it, but I know I've picked it up a few times, so it mustn't be very appealing generally. I'll look forward to seeing if I got this completely wrong. Fingers crossed...

  3. Anonymous2:06 PM

    I have been directed here by FB and read the article (really like your stuff when I get to read it Bec - no suck up) and then read the comments..........

    well f**k me.

    not literally of course and within the context of this discussion clearly a poor opening statement but there is no other expression that seems apt.

    do you girls know each other?????

    trying to sus out how that is possible but canny really figure it out. maybe i've missed something.

    jimi taylor

    (aye - that one)

    p.s sorry for hijacking a worthy discussion Bec but well..........wtf??????

  4. Hey Jimi,

    How's things? Hope all is well down your way - I will have to call you next time I'm visiting that bonny city (I always forget). Thanks for your kind words about my writing too. Stoked. Have you been surfing much? Have you been back to Byron?

    As for your question - haha! No, unlike you and me, germaine and I have never met in real life, only online via our blogs. Cool, huh! I've been so lucky to have met a heap of cool folk through my blog, who have been super generous with their contributions and more. It's one of my favourite things about writing this site. I'm even getting to meet a couple of crew when I visit the USA a couple of times this year, so I'm pretty excited!

    Hope all's well?


  5. Anonymous4:25 PM

    All is good Bec,

    Not got in the water as much as I would have liked recently but still like to take my dubious skills out as often as I can. Not been to Byron since we last met but hopefully will get up again before too long.

    So here's the thing Bec. Not sure if you picked it up (don't think you did judging by the reply). I actually KNOW Germaine. I have actually surfed with Germaine - even been on a surf trip with Germaine. In fact, I used to sit next to Germaine at work!

    Back me up here G so I don't look like a wierdo.

    Can you see why I was so taken aback now?

    Small world huh?


  6. Oh wow! Okay well, that is, fucken astounding!

    And cool.

    I feel like we need to insert the music from the Twilight Zone or something.

    Small world indeed!

  7. Unbelieveable! I'm guessing it's going to be option 3...

    Have you seen this article plugging their swimsuit issue (hint: it's not a round up of what bikinis are out there this summer)? Here's a delightful quote "The men are in the water, the women are in swimsuits; life is as it should be."

    And people ask time and time again why standards in womens surfing are lower than mens - maybe it's because we're constantly being told we don't surf...

  8. Oh wow. What a clever play on words, as though the guys are having group sex with the model.


  9. I was taking a work break and read your post and my jaw dropped to the ground.

    Am really interested/terrified to know what angle the writer goes for. Fools!

    Good to see a post from you.. it's been a wee while!


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