Today, last year
The last day of the winter sun
(from August 6th 2009)
These are the words I don't ever want to hear again.
They are words that are used to express regret, apology, forgiveness, but it seems to me that they are actually connected to sadness, pain, hurt, exhaustion and anger. That they're just the words we say when there are no other words left.
They're words that I've heard both too much and not at all. They're the words that sometimes I ache to hear but that often just clang through my head like church bells, ringing through my thoughts and heart whether I want to hear them or not.
"It's my fault, I'm sorry"
"I'm sorry but that's not possible"
"I'm sorry, I lied"
"I'm so sorry to tell you this, but..."
They're words that bring you to your knees and push you down into a chair just so you can cope with hearing them. They're words that sting and punch.
They're words that break your heart.
They're the words you say when there are no other words left.